


Now or Never

by Helvetia (RoknaThranakar)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 23:13:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoknaThranakar/pseuds/Helvetia
Summary: Loving someone never hurt so much but then again Yugyeom never planned for loving someone who didn't feel the same way about him.





	Now or Never

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lljung](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lljung/gifts).



> YugBam/GyeomBam College!AU
> 
> Yugyeom’s in college and Bambam is a fashion youtuber who's also in college
> 
> There are other pairings but very minimal, I’m focusing the fiction on Yugyeom and Bambam’s relationship interpersonal and what not.
> 
> Enjoy and check out the playlist for the music I listened to while writing this. It's gonna be a Two Part story that was supposed to be a oneshot but it's Julie's birthday (I fell asleep! I was supposed to upload this earlier D= ) so I'm dedicating this to her for putting up with me screenshotting small paragraphs and giving vague details on this. =)

[You can listen or not but it's all your decision](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLARbWuFUaZh4HihCVKGDchVBQEGss3-pI)

 

 

Part 1

 

 

 

 

 

_Yugyeom lay facing the downtrodden and desolate form of his former? Best friend. The same best friend who had taken steps to make sure that he was never without the attention he felt he deserved, who felt Yugyeom owed it to him. Owed him six years of devotion to the cool older friend. And yet here he stood, awaiting Yugyeom’s judgement, a frail and tear streaked, fashion-less, adult of twenty-two years. Did he deserve Yugyeom’s forgiveness? After all that he had gone through, years of being on the sideline watching, waiting, hoping and holding in his own cries for affection._

_Yugyeom hesitated, knew whatever would come out his mouth would either make or break the pleas that Kunpimook had taken to tell him. What he had been trying to tell him for weeks now but held his tongue out of fear, because maybe what Yugyeom felt was not what he was suddenly feeling._

_With a shaky sigh, Yugyeom opened his mouth ready to face what was to come. Ready to finally lay it all out in the open. To tell Kunpimook where everything was falling, for his own sanity and maybe for everyone else involved._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Oh my god, can you believe Youngjae said that to me? Like how can he think I’m being two-faced and then he has the nerve to laugh in my face about this entire thing.” Yugyeom nodded, half way not listening to his best friend Kunpimook ramble on about what had happened earlier in the week to him involving one of the elders of their group, Youngjae. He wasn’t in the mood to entertain but he felt obligatory to at least act like he was, the past month had been a sobering event and he was honestly not sure if he could continue to smile in earnest. Not when Kunpimook had announced to the group that he and Jinyoung –who proclaimed himself Yugyeom’s elder brother, were dating, had kept it a secret for two months.

 

Jaebum must be kicking himself, or trying to find a way to reverse time because no one saw this coming.

 

He swallowed and side-eyed the elder and wondered if Kunpimook could stop talking, even if it was just for a few minutes, to save Yugyeom’s trembling heart. They were dressed warmly for the cool and breezy weather, Kunpimook dressed to the nines and looking a complete ten in his fitted knee-length black coat, ripped skinny jeans, red striped turtle-neck and silver heeled boots finishing the look with his hair dyed a fresh red.

 

Yugyeom kept to his all black attire with an army green bomber jacket, his mood lately had called for only black to satisfy his current fashion forward friend. The weather suited him just fine for now because that meant Kunpimook would stay indoors until the weather calmed down, would be more about making his videos to post for his eager fans. That meant Yugyeom would have time to compose himself to push down the constant burn that bubbled in his throat every time he thought of Kunpimook and Jinyoung together and that they had been together for a full three months.

 

He needed a serious break away from it all.

 

“Yugyeommie, are you even listening to me?” Kunpimook faced Yugyeom, walking backwards and eye the taller man in front of him with a curious look.

 

There was always this look that the elder seemed to land onto Yugyeom claiming his attention to focus directly onto Kunpimook and sometimes Yugyeom hated it because he knew he was weak against any look laid on him by the other.

 

“Yah, what kind of friend do you take me for? I’m just taking in all that I missed in the last couple of days.” Yugyeom plastered a cheeky grin that felt like it was already cracking under the pressure of his current feelings. _Hold it together._

 

Kunpimook was silent for a moment, letting the quiet rest between them, as their shoes were the only noise between them in the late hour of the night. The streets were not as busy on a weeknight and they were heading home or at least to the invisible fork that would soon split their paths, one taking Kunpimook to his one bedroom apartment where his room acted as his closet and recording room with living room revamped into a studio, and Yugyeom to his own home and cold room waiting for his return.

 

Kunpimook nodded approvingly before turning back around and falling into step with Yugyeom, “You’ve just been quiet. A bit out of it too.” The elder said less animated than before and turning to looking at Yugyeom who refused his body to automatically turn to the man next to him.

 

Yugyeom sighed and chose his words carefully of what he would say next, “Well, it’s just that I’ve got my dance project that I need to perfect which, Hoseok is freaking out about seeing as my dance partner accidently broke her leg on a weekend trip. We’re scrambling and I’m just finding out about you and Jinyoung dating, that’s a lot to take in and deal with you know. I’m kinda strapped at the moment.”

 

Yugyeom silently let out a breath as Kunpimook grunted in the information that he was given and allowed his eyes to wander towards the handsome man walking next to him, and he couldn’t help the next words that came bursting out of his mouth.

 

“Besides, I thought we were best friends? How was this not important to tell me and yet I’m hearing about this along with everyone else?” _Too much, you’re saying too much!_

 

He feels the same burning coming from the pit of his stomach and it’s moving up fast this time and fear grips Yugyeom as Kunpimook stays quiet next to him. A car honks at a pedestrian crossing the street up the road in front of them and Yugyeom thinks he’s set foot at the point of no return, to be or not to be that friend who knows your everything, to be or not to be an unbiased fly on the wall. The burning sits and bubbles at his vocal cords like acid, dissolving the soft tissue it touches, yet the distance he feels between himself and Kunpimook grows just a bit more as the other looks away with a bite to his bottom lip.

 

_Unimportant…you were unimportant in anything that has to do with Bambam and Jinyoung getting together. You’re not needed. Take a rain check and comeback another time._

 

Yugyeom thinks to himself bore opening his mouth again to truly and wholly bite the bullet and bury his feelings at the bottom of the ocean yet again, “I mean come on, Bambam, how am I supposed to give you blackmail material on Jinyoung? I’m disappointed.”

 

He hears the chuckle come first a few moments later and Yugyeom blinks back the prickle he feels at his eyes knowing it wasn’t the fault of the chilling wind that just caught hold of them, as Kunpimook goes on to ask questions about said blackmail that he may need for the future. Yugyeom shutters and divulges everything he knows so he won’t have to come back to this subject and he clocks himself out of being the dutiful best friend that’ll be close by when Bambam needs him. He’ll turn his time to the routine that he needs a partner for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next couple of days brings him a breath of fresh air as he finally gets a new dance partner in the form of Jeon Jungkook, who heard about Yugyeom’s plight and transferred dance schedules in the troupe to help Yugyeom out. Oh, how he misses his childhood friend so much and Yugyeom is wrapped in a near bone-crushing hug as they laugh and talk loudly minutes before the dance club is scheduled to begin.

 

“Oh my god, Yugyeom you giant!” Jungkook says pulling away to take in a better look at Yugyeom who chuckles at the words.

 

“You don’t have any room to talk like that when it feels like I’m about to be crushed by a tractor. Where did all of these muscles come from?” Yugyeom pinches at the flexed biceps and laughs louder as Jungkook flexes even more with a waggle of his eyebrows.

 

The routine is saved but of course needs working on to get the timing perfect, to stick each and every move with the accents of both their personal dance styles and Yugyeom allows himself to get lost in the rhythm of the dance as Jungkook catches on faster and faster with every take. He forgets about Bambam and Jinyoung, he forgets about their now screwed up group dynamics and what this would cause in the long run if the two were to split and not on good terms.

 

_It’s not my problem…what I think is unimportant, anyways._

 

They dance past the scheduled end of the club hours and do not stop until two hours later when they are both exhausted but feeling good about their nearly flawless routine. Yugyeom doesn’t check his phone until thirty minutes later because he and Jungkook are catching up on just dancing alone and how much their styles changed since they graduated from high school into their second year of college.

 

There is an unread text from Kunpimook and Youngjae and missed calls from Kunpimook, Jaebum, and Jinyoung each but Jaebum is the only one that leaves a message asking to meet up later ‘I’ll pay for your dinner.’ He adds and Yugyeom sends him a text with the name of his favorite café that’s in the downtown area but closer to his home so he can walk the way from there to his home.

 

Youngjae is just checking in on him as usual asking if he’s got a new dance partner yet, and Yugyeom shoots a quick reply before checking the last text and already feels drained when Kunpimook is asking if he’s free to hang for the night because he’s finished his latest video, edits and all, and is bored.

 

**/I wouldn’t mind the company of my best friend/**

 

Ending the message with a sad face emoji.

 

_Distance. Keep your distance Yugyeom._

 

He berates himself as he lets Kunpimook know that he’s already being treated to dinner by Jaebum who asked him way earlier in the day, knowing well that Jaebum’s call came at the end of his club hours.

 

**/Sorry, maybe next time/**

 

He doesn’t add the usual sad face because he’s just finished dancing and it’s too much of a rush to his adrenaline to feel down.

 

Kunpimook is quick to reply, asking where they are going and that he could meet up with them.

 

**/Not sure. He said he wanted to make sure**

**I’m doing well since it’s been a while since we met up./**

 

The elder gives up, telling Yugyeom to have fun while his best friend withers away and Yugyeom holds himself back from replying, to leave the conversation right where it’s at. To not peel at his already tingling skin, the feeling in his stomach is warm this time and he would rather keep it from boiling up and scaring his insides more than what it is.

 

After Jungkook locks up the club room, Yugyeom contemplates taking the bus or walking but he’s halted in his thoughts by Jungkook slinging an arm over his shoulder and a cheeky grin. “Hey, you need a ride? Noticed you didn’t have your car today.”

 

“You don’t mind?” Yugyeom asks, relishing the cool air licking at his heated skin, “I actually have to meet up with Jaebum. Free food and all you know.”

 

Jungkook laughs out into the cold open air, bunny teeth exposed and all, before giving several smacks to Yugyeom’s chest, “Ah now that’s a plan. I’ve got Ramen and seaweed crisps waiting for me at home.”

 

They quickly make their way to Jungkook’s black and silver accented car, sliding into the seats and making their way to the location Yugyeom directs with ease.

 

Yugyeom decides to fill the silence of the car, his thoughts are trying to center on Kunpimook, “So are you still chasing that one guy or have you finally caught him in your clutches?” _Stupid question_ he thinks and knows it’ll be turned onto him in no time.

 

The elder scratches at his head with a large sigh and Yugyeom knows he’s in for the long haul of listening to his friend’s current love-life situation. “No, no I stopped mooning after Jimin since the end of high school when I found out he and Hobi got together right after his graduation. What a shock right? I mean, I at least expected him and Taehyung to get together but I haven’t been keeping up with much when I took on ten classes like a fool and nine this year around.”

 

Yugyeom nearly choked on the air he was breathing and looked at Jungkook as if he was crazy, grown two heads and punted a precious baby kitten. Yugyeom himself averaged three classes the most during the semesters because his main focus was dance and here Jungkook was showing off.

 

“Way to make me look lazy.” He stated shooting a text to Jaebum stating he’d arrive in a few minutes.

 

Yugyeom noticed the jerk of his head that Jungkook did, “It’s not like that, w-well yeah I might be showing off but I’m trying to impress someone. Most of them are music classes anyways.” His cheeks had turned a rosy pink out of embarrassment and Yugyeom cursed his luck that they arrived at the café and turned to Jungkook to say a few words before they parted.

 

“We need to get together sometime and bring me up to speed on your complicated love life.” 

 

“Yeah yeah!” Jungkook waved him off before making his way to his home and questionable evening dinner.

 

Yugyeom laughed and shouldered his backpack watching the car turn down the road, entering the café and instantly spotted Jaebum sitting at the back and slightly secluded off from most other booths, dressed in his favorite hoodie, jeans and infamous bucket hat that Yugyeom knew Jinyoung wanted to burn and spread said ashes across the sea.

 

He sat down bringing the other out of his thoughts, “Ah, so little brother has finally made it. How’s classes? Heard your dance partner had an accident.” Jaebum said all in one go while patting Yugyeom’s shoulder in greeting.

 

“Wahh, why do you call me that? It makes me feel like I’m five.” Yugyeom groans but picks up the menu in front of him with a smirk.

 

“That’s because you are five in my eyes.” Jaebum says, watching the waitress make her way to their table. They both order their food already knowing what they want and wait to continue until after the woman smiles and walks away.

 

“The classes are easy enough. Oh, and Jungkook  volunteered to be my dance partner, said it would be easier for his busy nine class schedule for the semester.” Yugyeom laughs watching Jaebum’s eyes widen at his statement.

 

“Aish that kid. Making me look lazy.”

 

“That’s what I said!” Yugyeom joins the quiet laughter at their table as the waitress brings their drinks and lets them know their meals will be out shortly.

 

They take the time to talk about popular dance moves, especially the ones that Jaebum has seen being created at hit dance spots across the city and bringing up his own stint that he’d had in one of his underground b-boy clubs. The crazy reverse spins that he stuck with his newest moves he’d practiced and perfected in the confined walls of his studio, and Yugyeom is jealous but not that much knowing he’d filled Jeabum in on the routine he made and was approved by a giddy Hoseok without question.

 

“That’s cause you two dance almost the same way.” The elder interjected. Their food came in the form of burgers and fries, and a desert for Yugyeom later when he finished his food, they ate and chat as dusk gave way to the indigo night sky.

  

Jaebum is first to sober, his face taking on a serious expression, eyeing Yugyeom before speaking with a more hushed and consoling voice. “Are you okay…with this whole thing about Jinyoung and Bambam?”

 

Yugyeom had to remind himself that Jaebum was the first to know about his crush on Kunpimook and even encouraged him to say something to the other –even though he hadn’t, and may not ever say, to make his intentions clear of what Kunpimook was to him. Six years of the same suffering, watching from afar yet being the closest.

 

But he couldn’t just think about himself in this whole drama that has unfolded itself onto them, Jaebum was probably just as messed up if not worse seeing that he and Jinyoung had been long time friends, longer than since Yugyeom met them. From the first time the two older men met in their grade school with a common love for music had them both gravitating and staying within each other’s orbit throughout the years.

 

When Yugyeom had met the two for the first time, Jaebum had held Jinyoung off from giving a through beat down to boys older than Yugyeom who had picked on him and taken advantage of his childish nature –he was a ten year old. Jinyoung had wiped away his tears and declared he’d take care of Yugyeom until the day he died, Jaebum chiming in that he couldn’t steal Yugyeom away from his parents ‘You’re not even old enough to be a parent.’, to which Jinyoung turned on his best friend and said ‘Watch me!’

 

After that, he couldn’t remember a time where the two had not brought him along everywhere they went, helping Yugyeom to grow into the man he was today. Maybe he had picked up his silence on showing romantic feelings from Jaebum because the elder still had not told Jinyoung how he felt about him. So hearing Jaebum ask this question made Yugyeom grimace because they were both obviously not okay but putting up with it nonetheless. He sighed and set his burger down to look Jaebum in the eyes.

 

“I’m a bit too busy at the moment to worry about that,” Yugyeom heard the whispered ‘Bullshit’, that Jaebum let out but decided to continue on because he was well used to this and separating himself from Kunpimook whenever his love life decided to add a plus one, “I should be ask you that. Are you alright? This is the first time Jinyoung announced any relationship, even if it was someone we knew.”

 

Yugyeom could tell Jaebum was uncomfortable with the turn of the situation just by watching his eyes slowly begin to close as if he wanted to lock himself away from everyone and his complexion lose color with thin lips forming a straight line. After a few moments of silence, Yugyeom went back to his meal, unsure if he should have questioned the other who looked completely uncomfortable.

 

“N-No…no -I’m not.” Was the mumbled reply Yugyeom received making him look up in surprise at the defeated look on Jaebum’s face before he turned to look out the window to hide the one part of himself that he seemed afraid to let anyone see, but not Yugyeom, not his little brother. “I don’t understand –I’m not sure where I stand anymore, because I tried you know. Maybe not in the way he wanted but-”

 

Jaebum let out a heavy sigh and Yugyeom could empathize with the moment the other dancer found himself on his theoretical lonely island, made for him by him.

 

_What a clusterfuck._

 

The rest of their dinner went by in silence and Jaebum paid for the to-go dessert Yugyeom had ordered, he stood out in the cool night air waiting as the other went back for a drink. Accepting the offer for a ride home, Yugyeom got into Jaebum’s car, leaning his seat back and closing his eyes, which did not last long before his phone started to ring Jinyoung’s ringtone. The silence between Jaebum and Yugyeom lasted a few seconds before he answered knowing he did not call Jinyoung back after his first missed call.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Now you want to answer my phone call? Why do I get the feeling you’re avoiding me?” Yugyeom slightly cringed at the deep voiced that greeted him.

 

“I’m doing well, thanks for asking. How are you?” Yugyeom caught a smirk from Jaebum who kept most of his focus on the road. Yugyeom figured one of these days he’ll adjusted the volume for calls not on speaker but didn’t care to right now, there wasn’t much to hide from his elder.

 

“Aish, this kid! When did you grow a pair to talk back to me like this? Show some respect!” Jinyoung playfully growled out. Yugyeom chuckled, he still loved Jinyoung dearly but it hurt to think of him and Kunpimook in any type of romantic matter.

 

“When you and Jaebum taught me, so make sure you give me some respect too.” He shot a quick reply, listening to the comforting chuckles that came from the other. Jaebum didn’t look too enthusiastic as if he knew what was coming next.

 

“Ah, yes speaking of which, I heard you two went to eat and didn’t even try to invite anyone else.” Jinyoung stated.

 

Yugyeom hummed and thought out his reply before speaking, “Well I’ve been busy and he just wanted to check up on me. Plus, it was the only time he had off and my dance didn’t go too much past regular hours.”

 

The quiet that fell between the lines made Yugyeom nervous until he finally looked up to see that Jaebum had parked at his house, he was about to quietly thank his most responsible elder until Jinyoung spoke again. “Actually, is Jaebum with you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Can you-“ Yugyeom grunted and switched the phone to speaker and let him know, not paying attention to the not-tremble that came across Jaebum while he stonily greeted Jinyoung.

 

“I was just wondering if you’d be back anytime soon tonight?” Jinyoung asked, and Yugyeom noted that his voice had taken a softer lilt when addressing the older man.

 

“I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’ve got a few producers to meet up with, so I’ll be late.” Jaebum answered into the silent running car. Yugyeom wondered how the both of them could not tell when they were talking as if the other was a precious gem.

 

The silence that carried made Yugyeom nervous and he wondered if he should even be in the car listening to the uncomfortable silence that followed.

 

“Oh…well, I made some food so if you’re still hungry –you know when you get back in, then I wouldn’t mind if you do take any.” Yugyeom squinted, that was the first time Jinyoung’s voice had sounded so soft as if hushing a baby or …speaking to a lover late in the bewitching hours of the night.

 

Yugyeom saw the nod Jaebum gave off before finding his voice, replying and thanking the other over the phone. With that they ended the call quickly and Yugyeom thanked Jaebum before heading into his house and up to his room and laid in his bed for hours watching as the moon rose into the night.

 

It was hard not talking to Kunpimook as often as the two used to but Yugyeom knew for him it was for the better, for the good of his sanity and heart.

 

A text came in from Jungkook and Yugyeom replied stating he was still awake.

 

 

 Kookmeister:

**/I know we just got on great today but I need a bit of help/**

TeddyGyeom:

**/Hmm?/**

Kookmeister: 

**/Can we pretend to date?/**

TeddyGyeom:

**/Whoa**

**Wait!**

**What??!!!**

**Jungkook explain/**

 

 

Yugyeom shot up to sit at the edge of his bed because none of this was making any sense and he needed answers, _Yeah cause screw sleep! Who needs that when they’ve got friends who cause non-stop heart attacks, right? Right._

 

The ellipses that waved under Jungkook’s name made him nervous for the long reply that Jungkook owed him, he wasn’t agreeing to anything not unless if it was life-threatening. _He better pray it’s life threatening._

 

 

 Kookmeister:

**/Remember when you asked if I was**

**seeing anyone and I evaded your**

**question like a cheater does the cheated?**

**Well…It’s not exactly one person per se I’m trying to impress…**

**More like 2**

**…or 3…/**

 TeddyGyeom:

**/When the fuck did you become a playboy?!/**

Kookmeister:

**/I swear I didn’t mean for it to happen!**

**Help I don’t know what to do!/**

 TeddyGyeom:

**/OMG you’re impossible and u think**

**dating another person is gonna fix this?!/**

Kookmeister: 

**/Maybe…?/**

 

 

 Yugyeom shakes his head and texted Jungkook letting him know he’s paying for Yugyeom’s lunch and they are going to talk because these things don’t fix themselves and fake relationships never work the way the user intends it to. He ends their conversation and prays for a better day.

 

 

 

 

 

They in fact do not get a chance to talk because of Jungkook’s ridiculous classes and the strict way that Hoseok gets when competition is a week away, which it is and they have all had their classes approved for the leave for a full week, bags packed and nerves gripping at the pit of their stomachs.

 

At the gathering for the troupe to get on their bus to head towards the airport, Yugyeom allows Youngjae to grip around his body in a tight hug and a ‘You guys’ll win I know it!’, before he’s trying to pry the sunny dispositioned elder off of him because the dance crew is watching and he does not need this embarrassment from the guys that call themselves his family.

 

He nods back to a proud Jaebum and nervous Jinyoung who looks like he’s about to tear up, yeah he saw that bottom lip tremble, ‘It’s just a competition, it’s not like I’ll be going off to war. You’re all embarrassing!’

 

Kunpimook is the last to approach him and Yugyeom tells himself that the away trip will do him some good, he’ll be refreshed and to be able to handle his best friend that he’s fallen nearly six feet under for, dating his self-proclaimed big brother/mother on certain days. “Gyeommie, bring back a trophy for the rest of us non-dancers, kay?”

 

“Hey speak for yourself!” Jaebum clips at Kunpimook earning a laugh from all present.

 

Yugyeom is glad that Kunpimook only pats him on the back because Youngjae refuses to let him go, and he readily agrees before Jungkook bounds over with his bunny smile and slings an arm over his shoulder. “Come on let’s go, the others are having a field day laughing at your tearful goodbyes.” And Youngjae reluctantly lets go with his crocodile tears bunching up at the corners of his eyes and a smirk on his face.

 

They both laugh and Yugyeom turns to Kunpimook to say goodbye but only gets a terse nod that deflates his insides because the other just had his best friend smile sported. Yugyeom hopes he hasn’t done anything within the span of two minutes to cause this and hesitantly heads off to enter the bus where Hoseok is making sure that every dancer is accounted for including the groupie helpers.

 

They’ve got a long week ahead of them but Yugyeom knows that they’ll at least bring home one trophy and that gives him some solace that he can take the time away to lock up his bleeding heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And that’s gonna end this video with ya boy Double B! Like and subscribe. And if that doesn’t satisfy your trendy needs you can follow me on Twitter and Insta G, Bambam out!”, Kunpimook watches the final edit of his video and is pleased with the content that he’ll post in the next couple of hours, saving the video and archiving the original while setting up a copy to his Youtube drafts to publish.

 

His phone has been chiming like crazy and he knows it is Youngjae probably giving him updates on Yugyeom’s week long dance competition. Not like he has not been keeping up to date with the daily and sometimes hourly videos that are uploaded to the group’s Facebook account, and so far it seems like they are going to be hauling back quite a few awards.

 

He’s happy for Yugyeom, he really is. It’s just that he wishes there was a video of his best friend without Jungkook making himself known too, like they were joined at the hip. Is that too much to ask for? Even when he checks Yugyeom’s personal instagram, there was Jungkook again and again. Invading and slowly conquering all of Yugyeom’s attention –he still hadn’t sent a reply to Kunpimook’s message in his inbox. He bit his lip, wincing at the sting and remembered not to bite too hard, the last video posted on Yugyoem’s profile had him nearly tearing a hole through his now sensitive bottom lip.

 

Yugyeom was too nice for his own good and Kunpimook reminded himself to let the other know that he was Yugyeom’s closest and most favorite person in the whole world. It is not as if he did not notice when Yugyeom was forcing himself to smile at him, to _look_ at Kunpimook instead of through him. He just never had the opportunity to inquire why Yugyeom’s been so distant.

 

_What is going on with you? I am not about to have another Minghao episode._

 

He sighs loudly and shakes the thought away, running his hand through pitch black hair, leaving his production room to his kitchen to try and make himself something to eat. Checking his phone he sees that there’s a full blown conversation Youngjae has had with himself, no other comment necessary and a simple text from Jinyoung stating to come to his and Jaebum’s shared apartment.

 

He supposes he has time to see what Youngjae has been texting so frantically when his phone starts to ring Jinyoung’s ringtone and he picks it up. “Yeah?”

 

“Didn’t you get my text?” Jinyoung sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown, which alerts Kunpimook and makes his heart race suddenly and forgetting that he needs to feed himself.

 

“What? What happened?” He asks slipping on his shoes and grabbing his jacket and keys attached to his wallet off his futon, his long legs carrying him already half way out the door.

 

“I-It’s Jaebum! I –I can’t talk to him, he won’t listen to me! This whole thing was a mistake…” Kunpimook knows that Jinyoung would not admit something like this if he didn’t think it would hurt anyone. The thought gives him the shivers and he speed walks to the bus stop, the sun hasn’t set yet and he checks his watch.

 

“Just try and not blow anything up. The next bus isn’t for another ten minutes.” Kunpimook says, keeping an eye out just in case the bus decides to come early. He gives a nod to an elderly woman who is sitting on the bench for the bus.

 

“I may have overstepped my boundaries –what was I thinking!” Kunpimook tries to calm the other and is only able to get the other to a continuous mumbling.

 

It take twenty-three minutes to get to said apartment where Jinyoung lets him enter the deathly quiet place, nothing is out of place and Kunpimook shakes off his brown and black leopard print jacket. “He’s locked himself in his room.” Jinyoung states quietly.

 

They stand close to the door and he turns to the older man, slightly pink in the face and on the verge of tearing up, “What happened?” He asks, eyes dodging between Jaebum’s closed door and Jinyoung looking so much smaller than the boisterous personality that their group is used to.

 

Jinyoung’s brows furrow and he sighs heavily as if the weight of the world just landed on his shoulders and Kunpimook has an inkling that they may have jumped the ball on this. _Their relationship_. They both freeze when Jaebum exits his room, his wide brimmed hat covering his face and dressed in the baggiest hoodie that he owned. He stops and stares blankly at the two of them, not surprised that Kunpimook has shown up and moves to get his keys in the kitchen.

 

Jinyoung moves as fast as he can to trap the other and Kunpimook watches as they stare each other down, Jaebum ready to bulldoze his roommate if he has to and Jinyoung unmoving. Slightly determined.

 

“Jaebum, I didn’t know!” Jinyoung starts, his arms raised in a plea for the other to hear him out.

 

“There’s nothing more to discuss. You’ve already made it clear you’re in this for yourself and no one else matters but you.” Jaebum clips, advancing on the younger.

 

“But he never told me-“

 

“It should have been obvious! All these years and you still don’t get it –you are one of the only people he trusts, this is basically a slap to the face, Jinyoung!” Jaebum yells, stops himself short as his gaze connect with Kunpimook’s worried and confused one.

 

“I wasn’t doing this to spite him nor to throw it in his face! I would never-“ Jinyoung clenches his fists into Jaebum’s sweater, his voice trembling with rising guilt and he holds on tightly to Jaebum who has given up on trying to get away.

 

Kunpimook sees the sudden change between the two, Jaebum could never say no to the younger and Jinyoung was going to use whatever he could to keep the other from leaving because Jaebum might keep going. He’s glad he decided to stay quiet and had set his phone to lightly vibrate well before he knew what he was getting into or the mood would have been ruined.

 

“Jaebum…I’m in love with you. I always have been…” Jinyoung says moving closer to a stunned Jaebum. Kunpimook rationalizes with himself that he has gotten better at not ruining moments because on any given day in high school he would have laughed and made it awkward. It takes Jaebum nearly a minute to close his mouth, or it might be because Jinyoung is advancing on him, corralling him away from escapable areas.

 

“I realized it back in the first few months when we started to take care of Yugyeom. You were hand feeding him fruits like he was a baby, being a jerk but you were –you were gentle with him and I wanted us to be like that for as long as I could get.” Jinyoung had the other trapped between himself and the wall, his face resting at the crook of Jaebum’s neck and shoulder.

 

“And then things changed and you just became so distant, and I just needed a way to get your attention but all this did was push you further away from me. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

 

Kunpimook slowly moved towards the door, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible because the scene was like watching his parents being lovely-dovey and he hasn’t even eaten yet. Although, Jinyoung’s words struck a cord in him, Kunpimook did not allow it to wash over him as he made a silent getaway and softly closing the door with the two other men mumbling into each other.

 

_Goodbye cock-blocking season._

 

He breathed heavily, allowing the crisp evening air to flow newly single life into him instead of the fake-single life he had lead before. Now he was truly free to mingle. Pulling out his phone Kunpimook saw that he missed six more messages from Youngjae, and screamed.

 

 

 Youngbae:

**/Bam ur missing the live of the group final!!!!!!**

**OMG I hope Yugyeom strangles u for missing his group!! >=(**

**AAAAAAAAA THEY WON YEESSSSSSS I’M SO**

**PROUD AND THANK GOD FOR AUTOCORRECT**

**You’re a shitty best friend**

**Gyeommie should disown you**

**SHAME.ON.YOU/**

 

 

He missed Yugyeom’s competition.

 DatBoiBam:

**/I’m coming by/**

 

 

 

 

Was all he could send as he ran to the bus down leaving the terminal and paying for a seat as the driver gave him a sour look finally pulling out and driving off, Kunpimook sat down shaking. _I fucking missed the competition!_

 

The whole way to Youngjae’s apartment went by too slow for him and he tried to reason he missed it for a good reason yet the guilt wrapped tightly around him as he knocked on Youngjae’s door and was instantly let in, his television blaring the loud noise of the competition he missed, streaming from Youngjae’s computer. None of the groups were cheering as loudly as Yugyeom’s group holding their large trophy as well as the various other ones they obtained through the week.

 

The video broke away to highlights of the various groups dancing and their best moments on stage, snippets piecing together until the final group that had won it all was displayed, featuring each member and their best moments that gave them the decisive win against all others. Kunpimook focused solely on Yugyeom as he hit the center stage with his solo.

 

_Work of art, he makes any dance beautiful._

 

Resting his weary body across Youngjae’s small sofa he pulled out his cell phone and quickly tapped the notification that Yugyeom had finally read and replied back to him. _Why’d it take you so long though._ Kunpimook thought, sighing dejectedly at the generic response Yugyeom sent him.

 

 

** Sorry I missed your message! It’s been pretty busy today. **

** I’m doing good. How are you? **

 

 

He swallowed down the yell wanting to come out and grinded his teeth against each other, pointedly ignoring the chuckles coming from Youngjae splayed wildly across his bed. The entire week that Yugyeom had been on his trip, his responses became less involved, less best friend like, and more of an acquaintance that he’d come across close to regularly. He groaned and rolled onto his side wondering how to respond to the blatant disregard and carelessness Yugyeom was sending his way.

 

“If I had a dollar for every time you huffed and puffed over there, I’d be at least fifty dollars richer. Now spill the beans.” Youngjae stated rolling on his bed to face Kunpimook who grimaced, silently deciding whether he should voice his gnawing concern and finally going with his gut feeling.

 

“Why does it feel like Yugyeom is ignoring me? Did I get drunk and throw up in one of his caps again? Am I not on his list of friends anymore?” Kunpimook blurts out, staring straight at Youngjae who sits up and gives him a look of contemplation, gauging whether he is lying or not.

 

He scratches the side of his head and Kunpimook wants to throw his phone across the room because Youngjae is taking excessively long to give him an answer that only he seems to know. “Maybe it’s because he sees that you’re in a relationship and doesn’t want to interrupt and be a third wheel, that two of his really good friends are dating each other and that anything he says or does might be seen as inappropriate to outsiders looking in. Or maybe it’s the fact that this competition has been weighing on him a lot more than what you can visibly see.”

 

Kunpimook holds his breath, taking in what his elder has just said and laid out for him to take in.

 

“Why would he think that he’s intruding on a fake relationsh- oh shit!” Kunpimook slaps a hand over his mouth as Youngjae jumps out of his bed, pointing his entire hand at Kunpimook.

 

“Aha! I fucking knew it! You two lying, scheming bastards, what have you done?” Youngjae marches over with a victorious wide smile.

 

_Not like you even did anything to make me say it. I’m just tired is all._

 

“No, I can’t say anymore!” Kunpimook flips himself like a pancake to face the couch cushions and still covering his mouth. Jinyoung was going to kill him for spilling the beans and he stops himself because not nearly an hour before, the same Jinyoung had confessed his feelings and stupid background of how he first fell in love with Jaebum. He was in the clear on this, none of this was his fault.

 

“Tell me now you little shit!” Youngjae sits on Kunpimook’s side, making the younger choke on his breath.

 

“Hell no! It’s not my business to say! Alright, alright I’ll say!” He wheezes out, trying to move away but relents when Youngjae gets his fingers wiggling under his armpits.

 

Youngjae holds onto him, not trusting his words, “I’ll tell you only if you don’t tell Yugyeom I missed his competition.” Kunpimook blurts out, wanting to cover for himself at least until he can watch a replay of the groups winning dance. Youngjae huffs before agreeing with his terms.

 

“We dated to make JB jealous, and it’s not like we did anything. He was kinda desperate when JB started getting home later and later, at the time I told Jinyoung to just fake date someone to make him jealous and then it just bursts in his face when JB wouldn’t even show up at their apartment.” Kunpimook begins to explain, gauging his elder’s face to which Youngjae just takes it all in and helps him to sit up.

 

“Did you guys, you know-“

 

“No! Oh my god no! That’s like already more blasphemous than us dating! Jinyoung’s not even one night stand banging worthy.” Kunpimook cuts the other off with his lips puckered as if he ate a lemon, which garners a laugh from Youngjae.

 

“Besides he was just cashing in on that bet I had lost a year ago remember and this just set us even.” He continues because he wants Youngjae to see that he was not crazy enough to date Jinyoung. “He might have a nice ass but I don’t have the fortitude to deal with him for long and vice versa.

 

Youngjae smiles and pats him on the back, “Let me offer you a beverage that I forgot to when I let you in. Want some liquor?” Kunpimook nods and rests against the cushions with a sigh of relief that someone else knows this.

 

Youngjae sets a tray of bottles in front of him and Kunpimook takes the beer first and downs it in no time, he is not worried about anything and his video should have already uploaded to Youtube for his trendy fans and mutual fashion hubs.

 

They take turns laughing, telling stories and snatching a fresh bottle of beer or soju to drink in celebration and a good night off from schoolwork. He has no worries at the moment…except for one niggling thought about his unanswered question. Kunpimook, feeling less prohibited voices his questions from earlier, he wants Youngjae’s thought now that the dating bubble has been exposed and exorcised from the room and so he asks without hesitation.

 

“Bambam, Yugyeom’s always kept a distance whenever you date people.” Youngjae says as if it is not brand new information that everyone knows of between them.

 

“What? No way! How come I’ve never noticed this? I just did now so what you’re saying can’t be it.” He tips his bottle towards Youngjae and squints in suspicion.

 

“Of course you wouldn’t, cause you were always up on ‘Cloud Bam’ with whoever you were dating. We all kinda did keep away too cause you said it ruined your groove thing,” Youngjae states and raises his hand to quiet Kunpimook who was ready to protest, “Listen, you always held off on bringing whoever you were dating around cause if he couldn’t handle just you, then he wasn’t going to survive around us.”

“He usually went nesting anyways.” Youngjae mumbled, leaning back and tipping his bottle of soju with him.

 

“The hell’s nesting?” Kunpimook asked loudly, making Youngjae jump at the words.

 

“What? Nesting? Where’d you hear that from –oh hey I have an IG notification.” Youngjae blurted lifting his phone and opening the notification, which turned out to be a live feed from one of his friends’ private profile for friends only.

 

“Hey don’t ignore me!” Kunpimook jumped on Younngjae’s back and halts his attack because the video playing on his phone is Yugyeom’s whole dance crew celebrating in a party room and he squints because he can’t really see with whoever has the world’s shakiest hands.

 

“Give me that!” Someone says and takes the recorder into more stable hands while whispering a few words to the other, “You can sit on my lap.”

 

The camera then turns to Park Jimin smiling sweetly with Taehyung sitting on his lap, “You guys this is the after party for our big win, we’re national champions! We won fifteen out of twenty-six awards and I promised I’d do a live if we took home more than half.”

 

The video pans across the room to a party already started and well on its way to a bash, Kunpimook spots Yugyeom’s dark hair bobbing to the music playing, sandwiched between two of his dance mates. He pushes Youngjae to link the feed to his television wanting to know what his best friend has gotten into and how much liquor is clouding his mind.

 

On the larger screen, it is easier to see everything but Jimin brings the camera back to himself, asking Hoseok to hold on to a tipsy Taehyung who has no problems pulling the other into a smooth rocking to the music while Jimin makes his rounds to everyone. He takes his time in greeting the others and Kunpimook wishes he wouldn’t talk so much with the others and get on with it. Get to Yugyeom.

 

Once Jimin gets through a crowded section of bodies grinding to an opening, Kunpimook feels his stomach drop at the sight of Yugyeom dressed a little too sultry but it is Jungkook’s hands sitting comfortably on his hips that makes him sober in seconds and chest tight with contempt. This is not what he expected, not like this.

 

The two are in their own world when Jimin interrupts them as they sway to the beat of the bass, “And here’s two our best stars in the crew. How are you two feeling about this big win?”

 

“We’d be feeling a bit better if that camera wasn’t pointed at us, Jimin.” Jungkook states as his lips gently touch Yugyeom’s neck while staring at the camera. As if he was staring right at Kunpimook. The action makes Yugyeom giggle but he does not move as Kunpimook had thought he would. How he should.

 

He sneaks a look over to Youngjae who has a hand covering his mouth that’s still wide open and eyebrows merging with his hairline, all the while not able to move his eyes away from the scene. Jimin continues to talk with the two and Kunpimook wishes he would stop, he’s seen enough Jungkook to last him a life time.

 

“O-ho, looks like someone’s getting laid tonight.” The camera follows their bodies pressed together all the way down and back up to Yugyeom turning to Jungkook, damning words leaving his mouth before Jimin could properly move to the next group of people.

 

“I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Youngjae’s scream pierces his eardrums and Kunpimook could care less as the video tunes to others happily thanking Jimin and complementing his own role within the dances. He leans back and then decides to get up to use the bathroom, he tells this much to Youngjae who inquires after him.

 

Once the door is locked behind him, Kunpimook lets out a frustrated breath, turning on the sink to splash his face with water because he should’ve been there to stop Yugyeom from being stupidly drunk. To stop him from making stupid mistakes. To be there for his best friend.

 

His reflection is red-faced and looks done with the day. _I can’t agree with you more_.

 

His cell phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see Jinyoung’s number and name displayed, he answers after a few rings later and hates the constricted way his voice sounds.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You okay? You don’t sound too good.”

 

“M’fine, what’s up?” Kunpimook clips as he answers back.

 

“About the dating thing, I’m sorry I –I need to end this. I think you already know or understand the situation, with Jaebum that is. It wouldn’t look good for me if I continued this even if he accepted my feelings or not, I can’t continue. There’s some others things I need to straighten out regardless.” Jinyoung says calmly as if he’s practiced this exact speech half a dozen times before calling him.

 

“Sure. I understand, free to fucking mingle and all.”

 

“Are you sure you’re fine? Did something happen?” Jinyoung asks.

 

“No, nothing. It’s nothing -don’t worry about it, I’m feeling a stomach flu coming on.”

 

Kunpimook lets that conversation die out quickly, says his goodbyes to Jinyoung, and tells him to say hi to Jaebum. He leaves the bathroom feeling less sickened and accepts Youngjae’s offer to crash at his place –on the sofa, which the older man does not ask about his sudden departure to the restroom and re-entry into to apartment main room.

 

He takes his spot on the sofa and curls a bit on his side, his pants and shirt folded and set on armrest, the blanket that Youngjae drops onto him is not enough to cover his legs so he forgoes covering his shoulders to adjust and sighs feeling the acrid liquor rise in his stomach. Which reminds him that Yugyeom is half way across the country, having sex…with Jungkook, as if being recently fake dumped was the least of his worries.

 

 _Why should I care?! He’s grown, he can do whatever he wants. Whoever he wants. Whenever he wants._  He thinks hastily rolling over again since he first got comfortable, his mind would quit it either.

 

“Bambam?”

 

He stops fidgeting before Youngjae is calling out to him in the darkened room again, “Hmm?”

 

“You seemed quiet, I thought you’d be happy Yugyeom won this year around.”

 

The room is dimly lit by Youngjae’s laptop and he knows the other is watching, waiting for his reply, “I am, really. Just mad at myself for missing his routine.”

 

Youngjae hums and sits up with his blanket wrapped around him, “I already made a copy of it for you. Was it Jimin’s feed? I really wasn’t expecting that too but things happen you know.”

 

Knupimook rolls onto his back staring up at the ceiling, “What if…I wasn’t okay with it? As a worried friend though. Yugyeom’s –he’s too nice, and the fact that Jungkook just comes back into his life like, like they didn’t stop talking for a long time.”

 

He knows Youngjae is silently judging him and he doesn’t care, because he knows something is fishy and he doesn’t want to see Yugyeom get hurt again, to cry like he did all those years ago when Jungkook stopped being his best friend.

 

“Just as his best friend, huh?” Youngjae asks with a wry smile and Kunpimook wonders if he’s lost some translation from the elder who just shakes his head.

 

“Get some sleep, Bam. Yugyeom’ll be fine.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yugyeom groans, rolling in the borrowed sheets from the hotel his group is staying at, he scratches his head while his other arm looks for an escape route because suffocating by way of stiff hotel sheets is not what he wants on his gravestone. He’s found an out and is sitting up, eyes barely cracked open to gauge the brightness of the room and lets out a moan at the hard thumping of an oncoming hangover headache.

 

He lets his hand drop to the lumpy surface next to him, which garners a separate grunt and a grave voice talking to him, “Why are you being so loud? Can’t you see a guy’s trying to die in peace over here?”

 

The only thing he can see next to him is the blinding white of the sheets and a splash of dark hair flopped haphazardly on a beaten to pancake flatness pillow. “Oh it’s you.” He mumbles and hisses at the vibration of his own voice, slowly leaning back down to curl up on his side of the bed while pulling his part of the sheets over his head as Jungkook hums low.

 

The room is filled with a content quietness for all but ten minutes before there’s banging on the room door and quite a few undeserving individuals are loudly waking them all to happy for the morning sunlight and all around disgustingly bright day.

 

“Rise and shine sweet peas! It’s a new day and we’ve got the closing ceremony to go to before we’re off to go home!” The voice of Hoseok pulled at Yugyeom’s fragile nerves causing his head to throb.

 

The sheets and blankets were snatched and thrown to a lounge chair, exposing the two bare as the day they were born to the world, in the small room they shared. Yugyeom jumped at the cool air hitting him, using his hands to cover himself he nearly choked at the nonchalance of Jungkook, it gave Yugyeom a scare as the other just groaned a curse at Hoseok and slowly took his pillow to cover himself as he rolled off the bed to the floor.

 

“Eugh! Wash up and pack your things, we are not coming back. Wheein Jennie, and Seulgi went to get everyone coffee since no one had the decency to stay sober last night.” Hoseok announced while rubbing his own head and making a quick exit to others he has not awoken yet.

 

Falling back to his pillow with a sigh, Yugyeom jumped again when he looked to his right to see Jungkook peeking at him over the edge of the bed. “Am I dead yet? I feel dead.”

 

“Not as dead as I feel.” Yugyeom countered the other’s words and decided to slowly gather his things and shower first since his half-dead roommate was not in the moving type of mood. The heat of the shower helped to alleviate some of the tension but he reasoned with himself that sunglasses will have to do the rest of the job.

 

The death shuffle to the lobby of the hotel took sometime seeing as they had to make several trips for their baggage, trophies and especially all the people apart of their group. Yugyeom was grateful for the coffee slipped into his hand and stated so after the first sip that left an easy and warm feeling in his body. He sighed and felt Jungkook rest his head against him, cooing at his own cup of ‘life-saving’ coffee.

 

From there on, everything moved as a slow blur shaded by Yugyeom’s sunglasses, entering the bus, going to the closing ceremony ‘Everyone we gotta take off our sunglasses, you can put ‘em back on once the ceremony ends but you can’t have them on during. Hell, you can sleep all the way back for all I care.”

 

Yugyeom along with everyone diligently hid their glasses under logo’d clothes. Unisex sweats trending the sponsors of the competition. He made sure to sit all the way at the back with Jungkook and watched as Jimin and Hoseok settled a still sleepy Taehyung between them while Wheein used Seulgi’s shoulder as a pillow.

 

“Heeyy..” Jungkook tried to whisper making Yugyeom glare at him, the room was already bright and he needed people to stop talking above a whispering level. A grunt came from him acknowledging his seatmate’s attempt at morning civility. “So, you gonna be my fake boyfriend or not?”

 

He could feel the muscles in his jaw work themselves to giving him speech, but the thought of having to be close to Kunpimook made his chest swell in the worst of ways, if he were to be truly honest with himself, no, he wouldn’t want to be someone’s fake boyfriend but the thought of being alone and letting himself breakdown only to rebuild was not something he wanted to deal with. He would miss a lot of his classes just to avoid Kunpimook and that was not something he needed at the moment with only three classes that were completely easy to pass.

 

_Besides, who’s it gonna hurt?_

 

Yugyeom hummed tilting his head slightly before he spoke, “I only have to deal with you minimally?”

 

“Twice a week at the most, unless if you want to hang out. Then I’m down.” Jungkook responded quickly.

 

“What are their names?”

 

His friend cleared his throat before talking quietly about the three people who had enraptured him, “Yoongi and Namjoon are the main reasons why I’m taking all these music classes. Their music is off the chain and they rap lyrics like they’re Christmas presents-“

 

“Oh my god, no Jungkook you do not say that in front of them in any circumstances. You hear me?” Yugyeom looked at his elder and knew from the way Jungkook was smirking that his mouth was puckered in the way the Kunpimook teases as if Yugyeom was trying to kiss someone.

 

“And then there’s Jin, president of the drama club and basically on his way to being a scouted actor. He’s the one that has that windshield wiper laugh that follows the flying witch cackle. I could listen to him all day.” Jungkook wisps out with a glazed donut look in his eyes and Yugyeom wishes he had Jungkook’s audacity to try to catch the attention and interest of someone he liked.

 

Kunpimook was one of the most social butterflies on campus yet he spent a good deal of his time in front of a camera catering his fashion choices to people all over the internet who were truly interested or wanting to be as trendy as he was. Yugyeom had seen every video that his best friend had posted and always left an anonymous post, he wasn’t surprised that it was overlooked among the hundreds of profiles that actually logged in to post and be noticed by Kunpimook. Every once in a while -2 times total, Kunpimook had responded to his post thanking ‘Anon’ for their kind words and a wish to see them log in so they could talk.

 

It was always a wonder to see the short paragraph be answered by an even longer paragraph. This was where he confessed he was smitten with the way Kunpimook had carried himself, spoke and seemed to care about those around him and putting his viewers first. It was also the only place that he truly stated at the end of each message he loved Kunpimook.

 

Remembering that he had not gotten back to Jungkook and glancing to the other to find him side-eyeing Yugyeom with the softest smile he’d ever seen.

 

“Kunpimook?” Was all Jungkook asked, making Yugyeom flustered a bit trying to deny the question, “You always get that look for him. I’m actually surprised you haven’t burst at the seams. How do you deal with it for so long and not say anything?” Jungkook sat up straighter to look Yugyeom in the eye and he doesn’t think he has an answer for that.

 

There was never an answer for why Yugyeom never said anything, and he supposes Jaebum or Youngjae could explain it better than him on any given day, rain or shine. He smiles and shakes his head with his eyes closed, wanting Jungkook to not head down that road, he was just coming from it.

 

“I’ll do it.” Is all he can muster with his heart thumping heavy against his ribcage and a weary stretch of his lips into a straight line. “Just please don’t ask about that.”

 

Jungkook sniffles a bit and lays his head against Yugyeom’s shoulder with a deep sigh.

 

“Okay.”

 

Yugyeom opens his eyes as the ending ceremony starts and there is a roar of applause from the crowd around them.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Every know force in the world and its grandmother seemed to be after Kunpimook and he hoped his lifespan wasn’t depleted due to the fact that Yugyeom left as his best friend, his single best friend and came back to him a different person. Not only did that singe his insides, the thought that Yugyeom was now dating someone was incomprehensible.

 

What did Jungkook have that impressed him so?

 

Why wasn’t he informed of this forming relationship? If anything he could see these things from a mile away and gauge himself on his reactions.

 

 _Be less fucking pouty._ He tells himself watching from behind Jaebum and Jinyoung as Youngjae garbled on with Yugyeom on his competition all the while Jungkook just hooked his chin on _his_ best friend’s shoulder. Yugyeom had barely given him a glance and a small smile before being whisked back by Jungkook who was all silent giggles.

 

There was a moment where everyone had fallen quiet, the noise around their bubble came off as muffled and Kunpimook felt a few degrees cooler trying to compose himself to face this disaster that blind-sided him.

 

He couldn’t do it, not now because of the ache in his chest and his heart was racing too fast for him to feel any kind of normalcy and act like he was okay with it, his voice would be on the watery side and he just wasn’t sure why he even bothered to show up. _Sick, you’re not getting sick just grin a-and watch, your best friend will come to you._

 

It was no surprise to Kunpimook that Jungkook had to leave, catch a ride with whoever brought him, back to his own home. Arrangements were already made and the quiet suffocation had eased up. 

 

They all enter the SUV Youngjae owned with him chatting up a storm with Jaebum and Jinyoung pitching in every once in a while, Kunpimook doesn’t think about those two and their already dysfunctional relationship and Jinyoung’s words of Jaebum needing space but, he was hopeful and what they had and could have wasn’t a lost cause.

 

He’s so out of it that Kunpimook jumps when Yugyeom’s gentle fingers skirt the back of his neck –the usual question if he could bundle himself up against Kunpimook. There’s a subtle hum in his voice, and Yugyeom only rests his weary head against his shoulder, tired, thankful Kunpimook understood his unasked question.

 

And yet, Yugyeom is not as close as he should be so Kunpimook shifts the rest of the way and grips tightly onto the arm of the black blazer Yugyeom is sporting while the other dozes off for the journey back home.

 

He’s already got a lot on his mind since nearly everything started and he’s no sooner to fixing his own problems than he is trying to understand how and why Yugyeom held back such vital information. The racket from Youngjae helps to keep him from over thinking and he finds it easier to relax and rest his own head atop Yugyeom, sniffing at the new shampoo that doesn’t smell like something the other would use. Kunpimook chalks it up to Yugyeom using the hotel shampoo.

 

They make it back to Youngjae’s apartment and Kunpimook is reluctant to wake Yugyeom who had taken to snuggling into him, but he does pull a whining Yugyeom out of the van with a smile at the others’ pouty and puffy face, they all pack into the small abode and Youngjae complains that they need a new place that’s bigger for them all to hang out.

 

Yugyeom goes straight for Youngjae’s bed and a struggle breaks out between the two as everyone else watches, chuckling at Youngjae’s waning resolve against a whining Yugyeom.

 

“Wah, that’s no fair!” Youngjae wails before squeezing himself on the bed to cuddle with Yugyeom.

 

Kunpimook smirks and looks over to Jaebum and Jinyoung who are both locked in a wordless conversation before the two announce that they are going outside for some fresh air, leaving Kunpimook to his own devices.

 

Boredom quickly catches Kunpimook and he lets his mind wander to the letter he had received that day, the letter that is sitting on the counter in his lonely one-bedroom apartment. He’s going to have to think of something quickly, it was something that he had brought up to Youngjae and pleaded with the elder not to tell everyone until it was a dire situation.

 

He’s laid out on the sofa looking at a sleeping Yugyeom being babied by the resident Sunshine who’s pinching his cheeks and congratulating him again on the competition wins, ‘I’m so proud of you’ , ‘Ugh, stoopp iiittt!’

 

For a few moments Kunpimook is caught off guard when Yugyeom looks up at him and their gaze is locked, his stomach flips and he’s brought back to a time where Yugyeom would stare at him as obvious as it was, the younger thought he was being covert trying to get as many glimpses of Kunpimook as he could. The memory ends as soon as Yugyeom looks away, ears starting to turn red and Youngjae pounces whispering things Kunpimook was not in accordance to hear.

 

“Heeyyy Yugyeom, I noticed you and Jungkook had somethings going on. Multiple things if you include today. You two a thing?” Youngjae asks waggling his eyebrows at a fully awake but un-moving Yugyeom, who blushes terribly under both Youngjae and Kunpimook’s stare. His face and ears flare a bright red under the scrutiny and Kunpimook can't help but feel jilted a little.

 

The two eldest return hearing the question, they look a bit tense but closer physically from what could be seen and they raise their eyebrows at the events unfolding.

 

“I mean, it’s -you know! I guess….” Yugyeom says lamely, hiding his face in the pillow under him while Youngjae bursts with laughter and a questionable congratulation comes from a confused Jinyoung and a less tense Jaebum.

 

Kunpimook could feel his face contorting and breathed to smooth out his expression to as neutral as he could get without raising any questions on his sudden mood change. He quickly pulled a half-decent smirk and congratulated his friend ‘Consider yourself off the man meat market.’, and resisted the urge to crack his neck out of reflex.

 

The rest of the evening moves along and Kunpimook finds he is physically and mentally disinterested in the conversations being had about Yugyeom and Jungkook, and everything they are all catching up on. He needs to get home and he says this much putting on a pout without the emotion needed to carry it but, it does its job to allow him to get a nod for him to take his leave.

 

He tells himself that he is nearly fifty days into his one hundred day vlog, which means he’s going to have to set aside a few hours each day to take care of it all as he makes his way to the bus stop lit up for the last few runs of the night.

 

Without paying much attention to how it takes him to get home, Kunpimook scrolls his phone and finds a text from Yugyeom asking if he is doing alright, that he seemed distant. He sighs and puts his keys on the counter thinking quickly and replying that he’s nearly halfway through his one hundred day vlog and Yugyeom messages him back stating he needs to catch up on his videos.

 

_Like you have time for that with your new boyfriend._

 

He quickly does his vlog, no edits, no retakes and not feeling up to putting on a smile he states as he informs his followers that he’s rearranging his entire wardrobe and that it’ll take him hours. He puts it to upload and closes his laptop, exits his room and goes to lay on his futon while turning on his television for background music when he connects his phone to it.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The weeks pass by quickly in the month and Kunpimook feels his head is spinning with everything that has hit from all sides and he can’t handle much more of this, which is the reason why Youngjae has coerced him to skip his class and spend the day with him. To help him cope with not having his best friend around, and appear in his vlog of the day while they travel around the neighborhood in search of a good place to eat. He can only thank his lucky stars Youngjae has the compassion to not say anything about Yugyeom and his newly formed relationship.

 

“Have you told anyone yet?” Youngjae interrupts his thoughts when he parks at a flower shop, there’s a decent looking restaurant right beside it with a good flow of customers.

 

“Hmm? No, I’m still looking around but everything is pricey. How do people live like this and are okay with it?” Kunpimook says as they enter the restaurant and they are immediately seated at a window booth.

 

“Bam, it’s Wednesday! When did the letter say the last day was?” Youngjae asks for water and they both select their drinks withholding on ordering appetizers yet.

 

He sighs, pulling the notice and new contract out of his bag and spread it on the table for the other man to view. The landlord had accepted a deal to have the apartments given to new management along with a new owner which meant that everyone in the building whether they liked it or not was being lawfully evicted but on good terms if they did not agree to the new contract and higher prices that were to be immediately adjusted.

 

“Saturday is basically the last day.” Kunpimook states rubbing both hands over his face with a defeated sigh.

 

The other apartments in the near area were just too expensive, more expensive than his own apartment complex. He would have to move more than halfway across the city to find something as good but priced less, and his budget could not afford that since he was still paying for his classes and funding his own wardrobe out of pocket.

 

“And you still haven’t found anything?”

 

“Not unless if I want to pay eleven hundred plus and staying with Jaebum and Jinyoung is like throwing chum into a frenzy of hungry sea creatures and Yugyeom is out of the question, he lives with his parents.” Kunpimook fixes his face from sticking into a permanent pout to which Youngjae smirks at and shakes his head.

 

“About that, it’s not like you even asked.”

 

“It’s completely out of the question. He’s freaking dating Jungkook on top of the fact that he still lives with his parents. Don’t you think it would seem kind of weird.” Kunpimook holds himself together from falling apart by the few strands of sanity that he has left.

 

He chooses to ignore the sad look pointed his way and cannot help but divulge the green-eyed monster swirling behind his façade, “He’s just been throwing their relationship out their like it’s nobodies business, like people want to see that.”

 

_Shut up!_

 

“I mean just the other day we were fine, it was a good day and I was doing alright but then he gets a stupid text from Jungkook asking him to come over because he has a ‘surprise’ for him and Yugyeom gives this half-assed excuse about needing to leave.” Kunpimook whispers harshly ignoring Youngjae’s question.

 

“How’d you get in his phone?”

 

“The one day where we had to hang out together and just be about the two of us and he just leaves me. He’s the worst, all six foot one of him.” Kunpimook grates out avoiding the concern on Youngjae’s face to look towards the waiter coming with their drinks.

 

They quickly order their appetizer and entrees, and Youngjae decides to talk because Kunpimook has said more than what he wanted, what has been eating at him along with not being able to find a place is stressing him out.

 

“Bam, I’m pretty sure Yugyeom would’ve have stayed if you asked nicely.”, “I shouldn’t have to ask for him to pay me a little attention.”, “Never mind I said that, how about you just tell him you miss being his friend and stuff?” Youngjae says with a nervous look trying to diffuse the ticking bomb that is his younger friend. _Oh my word. Yugyeom has a battle ahead of him._

 

“He’s too busy getting laid and living a happy life without me.” Kunpimook says crossing his arms and slouching a bit in his seat.

 

“I’m pretty sure he wants you in his life.” Youngjae says wishing the table was not in between them because Kunpimook looks like he needs a hug to save his life. “How about we settle for finding you a place?” He offers up and gets a terse nod for all his troubles.

 

_Aish! This kid and the other one is gonna be the death of me._

 

Youngjae thinks it’s funny how vultures can tell when free food is about to be served because not two minutes before his and Kunpimook’s food comes out a hostess is leading three bobbing heads behind her to their table.

 

“How dare you two go out and eat and not tell us!” Jinyoung’s voice snaps the two out of their deep conversation.

 

Youngjae watches the horrified look on Kunpimook’s face as he quickly snatches the papers off the table and shoves them into his bag, seating himself upright as Jinyoung pushes Yugyeom to sit next to him while Jinyoung takes the end and Jaebum sitting next to Youngjae, adjusting his snapback.

 

“Hey I’m not paying for you all and how did you find us anyway?” Youngjae asks with a huff, Kunpimook looks completely uncomfortable at the especially close proximity he and Yugyeom have, mumbling a hello and looking to Yugyeom under his eyelashes when the youngest greets him, all heart eyes and shy smile, and Youngjae knows Yugyeom has not gotten an inch over Kunpimook. If anything, he may have fallen deeper into that cesspool he calls ‘a simple infatuation, okay maybe love’.

 

And Kunpimook, he thinks he knows what to make of the second youngest actions but he’s been pulled everywhere and Youngjae can’t get a true read on what he truly wants from the youngest. He’s close though, he isn’t taking psycho analytics and majoring in Psychology for nothing.

 

He nearly laughs when Yugyeom puts an arm around Kunpimook’s shoulder scooting closer into him to make more space for Jinyoung but, Kunpimook is already relaxing into the embrace and slightly tilting his body towards Yugyeom. Jaebum interrupts his musings explaining how they got there.

 

“We were just having a drive around after picking up Yugyeom from his last class when Jinyoung spotted you two and thought we should join you since we haven’t eaten yet. Don’t worry about the bill, I’ll get it since we crashed your outing.”

 

Youngjae smiles grateful for loaded friends who act like they have no money and thanks Jaebum for the generosity as he over hears Yugyeom quietly asking Kunpimook if he doing well, to which Kunpimook says he’s fine with a weak voice and Youngjae doesn’t want to see him struggle so badly. He waits until the waiter comes back with their appetizers, taking the drink list for the other three and making his way back to the kitchens to pounce on the mild dilemma that has caught up with Kunpimook.

 

“Bambam, you should tell them. And its-“ He looks at his watch which read 2:15pm, they won’t have time to look at the other expensive apartments Kunpimook had planned, “We’re not even gonna make it to this next appointment. You know how we get to talking on most days.”

 

This raises questioning looks from the other occupants at the table and Knupimook almost jumping out of his skin, “No! It’s okay, I’ll just go by myself tomorrow. You guys don’t worry about it.” He tries to shift the conversation away but Youngjae is tired of him stressing alone when they all could help or donate a room until he finds a place of his own.

 

“Bam, what’s going on?” Jaebum asks, his form giving no leeway to get out his questions.

 

“I…It’s nothing really.” He says lamely, fingers scratching at the side of his neck.

 

“Bambam’s stupid apartment complex sold out and raised their prices for leasing, either he pays twice what he does now or he’s going to be evicted by Saturday, he needs somewhere to stay. I’m sorry Bam but maybe they can help or something. Besides you’ve been looking for weeks.” Youngjae says remorseful at the other’s betrayed look but knows that it was needed, he didn’t want to see him on the streets.

 

The other’s surprised reactions gauge in varying degrees from Jaebum’s wide eyes, to Jinyoung who is trying hard to find words to say but seems to only open and close his mouth a few times, to Yugyeom who looks on the verge of tearing up.

 

It’s quiet except for the few people eating in and the clashing of cutlery from the kitchen, Youngjae knows they’re all gob smacked but the silence is already not helping until Jaebum speaks.

 

“I wish I had known early on, the apartment Jinyoung and I share is already small with our things, I’m sorry. I don’t know anyone looking for a place.” Jinyoung readily agrees and states he knows no one or anyplace that is as cheap as Kunpimook’s old apartment.

 

The silence continues but Youngjae notices Jaebum is having a mental conversation with Yugyeom who takes even longer to answer and he can tell Kunpimook is ready to run out of the restaurant in tears.

 

“You can stay with me.” Yugyeom simply says after the nod that Jaebum gives him.

 

“B-but you live with your parents, don’t you think they get the final say so?” Kunpimook counters and Yugyeom looks like he forgot himself. The hand sitting on Kunpimook’s shoulder tightens at the words.

 

“Oh…yeah, I forgot to mention. My parents are overseas and they basically gave me my inheritance house as a birthday gift last year. But, I meant it Bambam. You can stay…with me, I don’t want to see you struggle especially if there’s something I can do about it.” Yugyeom says turning to the shorter man, brows furrowed.

 

It takes a while for Yugyeom’s words to take root and when it does, Kunpimook buries his face into Yugyerom’s jacket and lets out a watery ‘Thank you’, while Yugyeom pats his back sporting the softest smile Youngjae has seen to date. They ignore the light sniffles and loudly converse as the waiter brings more drinks and takes the other’s order. Jinyoung orders for Yugeom since his is busy quietly talking to Kunpimook and Youngjae wonders what would have happened if he didn’t say anything, taking sips of his drink and eating the still  sizzling hot appetizer spread before him.

 

He feels accomplished.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Kunpimook scrambles through in a panic boxing his more personal things up and only hears the prologue to laughter coming from Yugyeom who has boxed the last of his winter coats while Jinyoung sighs loudly in annoyance at him. He’d been bossing them around for the past five hours of that Thursday evening, ‘Be care with my shoes! Do you know how much those cost me?’

 

He really couldn’t believe his luck that Yugyeom owned his own house and never said anything about it to him including the fact that it wasn’t even a house _Three houses can fit inside of this gargantuan mansion!_ The picture that Yugyeom had shown him of the outside made it look massive when compared to _his car!_ That was parked in the front. What disturbed him the most was that Yugyeom never brought him there and spent all of his free time he could at Kunpimook’s dinky apartment, stating it was much cozier than his place.

 

Kunpimook always thought it was because his parents worked odd hours a left Yugyeom to his own devices but this was another level of being left alone and, maybe he could understand a little but, he as his own mansion complete with a screened in pool. Kunpimook couldn’t understand Yugyeom’s peon brain cells but he knew he would’ve had at least his friends over constantly.

 

Glass shattering brought him out of his thoughts as well as Jinyoung’s ‘Here we go. Who put Youngjae in charge of the kitchen?’ followed by Yugyeom’s ‘That was you, all you.’, ‘Aish!’

 

Hurrying out of his room Kunpimook nearly screeched when one of his mother’s fine porcelain plates was shattered on the floor, “I’ll pay for that.” Came from Youngjae’s frightened face and Kunpimook felt his eye twitch.

 

“You handing your life over to me couldn’t pay for that.” He ground out, feeling the blood boiling at the thought of having to explain to his mother that the plates she saved for him for years was basically unusable, an odd number. Youngjae gave a lop-sided smile as a sorry and Kunpimook was ready to wipe the look off his face when he felt Yugyeom –It would always be Yugyeom, rest against him to watch the train wreck, chin hooked over his shoulder and body heat contending and mixing with his own.

 

The contented smile of the younger man’s face disintegrated any fight in him to go strangle Youngjae standing at the counter with a greedy Jaebum riffling through his fridge for food, to just standing there and sending Youngjae a stifling glare. It had been so long since Yugyeom had been this close that it felt like centuries had passed by, that he was a dry desert that was once a flourishing rainforest.

 

Youngjae’s smug smile didn’t make things better for himself as Kunpimook promised that he’d get the older man back later.

 

“Just clean it up and hurry.” He stated, relaxing as the seconds went by.

 

“I would if hungry hippo over here would help.” Youngjae kicked at Jaebum who remained undisturbed eating Kunpimook’s red velvet cheesecake _My red velvet cheesecake!_

 

Giving up and groaning Kunpimook raised his hands in defeat “Fine. Whatever. I give. I think that’s enough packing for the day. You guys are useless.”

 

“Speak for yourself!” Jinyoung snapped from behind them.

 

Yugyeom’s arms that wrapped around his shoulders played a great deal in calming him for the moment, “I’ll buy you another one. A whole cheesecake. If you want.” Yugyeom mumbled to him and Kunpimook held his breath, his spine was tingly and he figured it really was time to stop packing.

 

“Thanks.” Was all he could say, avoiding Youngjae’s wide-eyed unnerving stare.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The movers Yugyeom had hired had made quick work of _carefully_ loading, driving and unloading his entire apartment into Yugyeom’s house, his room, that made him want to cry because the damn thing was at least three times larger than his apartment. The walk in closet _This magnificent beast!_ Made his wardrobe look small and insignificant but he could literally do his daily videos in the closet and not feel cramped. The bathroom was connected to his room which he found was connected to Yugyeom’s own room that looked just as grand and luxurious as his, except his futon killed the luxurious experience.

 

Kunpimook really wanted to cry, not only did Yugyeom tell him he wasn’t taking any money from him but he also stated he’d get Kunpimook a nicer bed and linens _From where?! I can’t afford to pay you back!_  And that he didn’t need to worry about anything. Why was Yugyeom ruining him like this and how was Kunpimook supposed to pay him back?

 

Which was the reason that a week later after unpacking all of his things, Kunpimook was at the store buying groceries for the meal he was going to cook for the younger man. Since Yugyeom had left to meet up with his dance crew, nevermind the fact that Yugyeom was still dating Jungkook and happily at that. The thought made his stomach sour and curl, he focused on getting the ingredients he needed including snacks and drinks –Yugyeom’s favorite of course, because what kind of best friend would he be if he didn’t at least splurge a bit on the one who took his unfortunate self in.

 

Sighing he chose his meats last and paid for his things catching a taxi to the high in neighborhood where he still could not get used to the new area and wondered if Yugyeom was insane in not using his car only to make sure that it ran. He had given Kunpimook a key to it was well, yet the car sat in the driveway since he wasn’t sure what would happen if he accidentally scratched the beautiful black and cherry red colored car.

 

His phone had started to ring while walking up the driveway, he held off to answer until he got in the house only to be greeted by Yugyeom with his phone up to his ear looking worried until he saw Kunpimook enter and ended his call which conveniently his phone stopped ringing. He rushed over and grabbed most of the bags and helping to bring them to the large kitchen, placing them on the island.

 

“Did you walk all the way back?” Yugyeom asked checking him over just once. Kunpimook shook his head and emptying the bags’ contents.

 

“Taxi.” Was his simple answer.

 

“But I gave you a key for the car, so you wouldn’t have to walk or pay for a taxi.”

 

“Gyeommie, it’s okay.” Kunpimook says turning to look at Yugyeom and watches as the other’s entire bring turns red. Yugyeom was always easy to catch and embarrass. Kumpimook smirks and the younger man’s ears turn redder.

 

He’s got the ingredients separated out to the way he likes and gets ready to start but, Yugyeom grabs his arm lightly, “I-I wanna help too.”

 

Even though it is only a few simple words spoken by Yugyeom, Kunpimook nearly curls in on himself at the skip in his heartbeat. He knows his cheeks are reddening and quickly nods before turning back around to the counter with Yugyeom standing by his side ready to follow his instructions. He loves this, just them together like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _I was wrong!_ Kunpimook thinks as he sets a pot of water on the stove to start boiling, he makes his way over to Yugyeom who is struggling with chopping up an onion to which the younger man admits with a wail that he should have started with the less volatile vegetables, tears ready to stream down his face.

 

He wets a piece of paper towel in cold water and stops Yugyeom from turning himself into a true crybaby  _He’s so freaking adorable._ “Come here, Yugyeom.”

 

Yugyeom shuffles to him with his black shirt sliding to his right shoulder and exposing a large expanse of skin, which surprises Kunpimook when his thoughts drift, wondering if Yugyeom has any hickies, and if he does then Yugyeom is much more of a pro at concealing than he thought.

 

“Close your eyes.” He places the cold and wet paper towel over Yugeyom’s eyes, at first focusing on making sure Yugyeom doesn’t move too much and presses his palms against Yugyeom’s cheeks making his lips pucker.

 

There is a niggling at the corners of Kunpimook’s consciousness, _I guess all those long hours of dancing helped with dropping off the extra baby fat._ Is his first thought and his second thought pulls at his heart for a few moments where he does not feel ready to approach it mentally.

 

“I’m feeling better now.” Is all Yugyeom says, waiting for Kunpimook to remove the warming towel.

 

Yet Kunpimook can’t help following the younger’s lip movements, he slowly lowers the towel and appreciates Yugyeom’s visuals for being so striking and sharp when he opens his eyes to look straight at him. Kunpimook quickly turns away to toss the towel and guides Yugyeom back into correctly cutting the onion, holding Yugyeom’s hand in his right hand as his left sits along Yugyeom’s lower back.

 

He can feel how tense Yugyeom has gotten and hopes he does not become shifty on cutting the other vegetables, “Calm down, it’s not gonna attack you. See, all done now set these on that plate and wet a paper towel and cover them.” Kunpimook says coaxing Yugyeom into setting the knife down, he takes the salt dispenser and lightly salts the now bubbling pot of water. They’re going to have to hurry with the food if he wants everything to turn out right, so he sets the pace fast and has Yugyeom chopping the vegetables as quickly as possible while he cooks.

 

Kunpimook marvels at the fact that Yugyeom, not only can he dance but he can sing as well and he’s being blessed with the rare moment when Yugyeom starts to absently hum to himself before he’s lightly singing a beautiful oldie song. This helps to push him further in getting everything just right, it needed to be since Yugyeom accepted him into his home.

 

The plated dishes sitting around the dining table amazed Kunpimook that he had cooked everything in record time while not burning or undercooking anything.

  

 

 

 

He felt pride, every part of his body filled with crackling energy at hearing Yugyeom praise his cooking after taking his first bite. He worked so hard for this and got the reward he wanted, a happy Yugyeom who looked at him, who spoke with him, laughed with him and made jokes at the silly movie they had decided on watching just to do shitty commentary. Like they used to do.

 

The setting sun fills the house with an orange glow and Kunpimook tries hard to focus on the movie they’re watching, he’d slowly made his way from one side of the large sofa to the corner of the sectional, only shifting to place a pillow between them so the homemade desserts could sit undisturbed but they had finished them and, Yugyeom used it to rest his arm on the pillow. He was glad they could have this but Yugyeom had been on his phone texting for the past fifteen minutes and Kunpimook felt the impending excuse from Yugyeom stating why he had to leave, to visit Jungkook for the night and for once did as he wished.

 

He laid his head against Yugyeom’s shoulder with a sigh and allowed his hand to fall against the other’s that lay unmoving, the backs of their hands resting against each other. With his eyes lowered, he noticed the shock that ran through Yugyeom and wondered if he had gone too far in wanting attention. Kunpimook felt his focus on the movie wane, as the slight vibration for Yugyeom’s texts buzzed in sequence a total of five times before Yugyeom sent his final message and set his phone down with a heavy sigh. It was all so telling and he waited for the impending words.

 

The slight movement of Yugyeom’s pinky against his skin alerted Kunpimook and he stared, wide-eyed and confused while Yugyeom hummed and shifted to rest equally against him, hands still touching. In a beat he flipped his hand face up waiting, and Yugyeom’s had instantly turned down, fingers grazing against his slowly. Kunpimook held his breath, spreading his fingers to lightly clasp against Yugyeom’s who in turn did the same.

 

His heart was racing too fast and he didn’t know what had gotten into him, why his entire body was trembling and numb at the same time. Why was Yugyeom doing this? Why was he allowing Yugyeom to do this? Why was this affecting him so terribly? And what was the damn name of this movie playing? He needed something else to focus on, quickly.

 

Kunpimook’s entire thought process halted and he was suspended in a living purgatory when Yugyeom decided to run his thumb along the side of his hand. Blinking rapidly, he squeezed their hands, reflexes kicking in and Kunpimook gave up because Yugyeom was the only person he could think of, the only one that seized his entire being. So he let it go, let himself go and fall into the comfort of the rising night and Yugyeom’s cologne when he turns his head slightly.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Kunpimook is panicking. Youngjae sighs, he’s never going to be able to finish his ten-paged essay if he keeps an open apartment door policy for the younger man who is walking holes into his carpet. He has already had to deal with the likes of Jinyoung who is so open but scathingly rude when questioned on what he wants and why Jaebum hasn’t felt the need to return his feelings when the choices were as easy as pie. For the record, he hates pie.

 

“So tell me what’s is going on. Explain, I don’t need you talking in tongues.” Youngjae states, saving his essay and closing his laptop.

 

Kunpimook stares at him startled, _Wrecked, is more like it._ He’s a bit shabby, clothes hanging off his form like just threw anything on and then decided to run all the way to Youngjae’s apartment instead of calling him like a responsible adult.

 

“What’s going on? What’s going on?! I’ll tell you what’s going on!” Kunpimook strides over to him before diverging into another hole to walk. “Yugyeom is what’s wrong!”

 

Youngjae perks up, hearing the name of the youngest and wonder what he’s gotten himself into. Partially happy that he’s not venting to Youngjae anymore and partially sad that he’s run out of usefulness in the youngest eyes, “What’d he do?”

 

He was ready to ask if the younger had pulled a manipulation or was forcing Kumpimook to do something that he wasn’t willing, but nothing prepared him for the words that left the young man’s mouth.

 

“Nothing!! Absolutely nothing but make me have a wet dream about him!” Kunpimook yells, hands pulling at his hair and looking distressed for the entire world to see. “Him and his stupid hands, his stupid face, his stupid body rolls and especially that stupid cologne he wears. I fucking ruined my sheets on the new bed he bought, for me!”

 

Youngjae wanted to laugh, he really does but his slack jaw just wouldn’t work as his brain worked to catch up. Kunpimook seemed worse for wear after he spilled the beans of his wild dreams to Youngjae.

 

“And then, he just goes about the place like he’s innocent. I didn’t want this but I tell you what, watching him walk out of the bathroom with only a towel on is a fucking crime and I hate him!” Kunpimook goes on further digging a mental hole to dig himself into and die. “Did you know he’s shameless? That shameless, self-centered, attention seeking, brat.”

 

_Sweet Wonpil on a stick._

 

Youngjae thinks, getting up to grab hold on Kunpimook before he spills all of his beans. “Bambam stop! Come on look at me, do not think about that-“

 

“But it’s all I can think of, I get no breaks from Kim Yugyeom!” Kunpimook wails and jumps onto Youngjae’s bed before rolling himself into the elder’s blankets to hide his cherry red face.

 

He sighs and sits back on his bed, hand already rubbing at where he knows Kunpimook’s head is, “Did you ever think that maybe he’s not doing it on purpose and is used to living by himself?” He gets a grunted ‘No’ from the younger and continues, because it’s just Kunpimook’s luck that he starts liking Yugyeom when he’s in a rare relationship after Yugyeom has loved him for so long. So he treads his words lightly, he does not want to see the two youngest of the group suffer too much.

  

“Are you attracted to Yugyeom?”

 

“Of course, Yugyeom is attractive. People would be stupid not to see this.” Kunpimook counters, lifting his head to glare at Youngjae. He sighs, knowing this conversation was an uphill battle as soon as Kunpimook arrived at his door.

 

“Bambam, I meant are _you_ attracted to Yugyeom?” He asks gently, trying to coax an answer out of the disgruntled looking man.

 

“It’s complicated. I do but I don’t like him.”

 

Youngjae pauses and feels a bit giddy, he’s holding himself together cause he needs Kunpimook to understand his own implications and feelings before jumping for joy for Yugyeom, “Bam, I asked if you find him attractive, not if you like Yugyeom.” He watches the other freeze, his face explodes into a red tint.

 

“I-I meant! Y-yeah I find him attractive…as a friend.”

 

“Mhmm, has this only crossed your mind when you’re at his home or outside or both?”, Youngjae asks, stroking Kunpimook’s hair to calm his heavy breathing before he implodes and rolls his eyes.

 

“Um…that’s complicated too! I’m usually don’t think of these things an then he has to go and start looking like _that!_ ”, Kunpimook states trying to free his arm to wave it around and gives up, dropping his head to the bed and groaning loudly.

 

Youngjae sighs, “Would you have thought this way of him if he wasn’t dating Jungkook?”

 

“Please do not say that name in my presence. I feel offended, like how dare he comeback and try to steal my best friend.”

 

“But he was Yugyeom’s best friend before you, so doesn’t that give him an in to come back and at least be a close friend?” Youngjae questions, eyeing the back of Kunpimook’s fading red hair.

 

“No.” the younger counters quickly.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he made Yugyeom cry. Just because he couldn’t handle sharing.” Youngjae catches himself before the sarcastic laugh leaves him and thinks of the irony because Kunpimook is not one to share said _best friend_.

 

“But don’t you do the same thing? Not sharing Yugyeom.”

 

“You’re funny.”

 

“So you’re saying that you’re okay with Yugyeom dating Jungkook? Because it seems he waited for a chance to be more with Yugyeom.”

 

“No, I’m not okay. I never will be okay with it.”

 

“But either you’re going to have to deal with it when Jungkook comes around or stand back because he and Yugyeom are really touchy almost as much as you and Yugyeom.”

 

Kunpimook turns to glare at him, lips pursed and nose scrunched up, “Why should I stand back and watch this?”

 

“Because it’s the right thing to do, like when you and Jinyoung fake dated. Why wouldn’t you?” Youngjae asks raising an eyebrow.  


“Because I shouldn’t have to be second to anyone else. I’m his best friend.” Kunpimook says holding his stare.

 

“And Jungkook is his boyfriend, so that means sometimes best friends become second-“

 

“Yugyeom has never considered me second in his life.”

 

Youngjae huffs slightly irritated, “And yet you have when you dated someone.”

 

“T-That’s because…Yugyeom’s a better human being than I am. I don’t have space to share him.” Kunpimook mumbles loud enough for him to hear and rolls onto his side, allowing Youngjae to get a better look at his conflicted face. “He’s too nice and willing to forgive and forget, I don’t want to see him go through that again.”

 

Youngjae holds his breath and allows the younger man to continue to talk, to realize what he’s saying is of course out of friendship but also something deeper blossoming.

 

“I mean, I’ve noticed a few things when Jinyoung and I said we were dating but I thought it was just him being stressed but he still does it. It takes so much to get him to look at me nowadays and it hurts that I have to do the most just to get his attention that Jungkook can just- I can only take so much.” Kunpimook says, his voice sounding weary.

 

He knows he risking a lot between Yugyeom and Kunpimook but Youngjae needs for the younger man to realize and back away or wait patiently because Yugyeom will make his way back round to Kunpimook, “Bam, I’m gonna need you to think on this and answer me truthfully.”

 

The nod he gets from the younger man gives him the courage to continue, “Do you think the reason why you’re feeling like this is because you might like Yugyeom? As his best friend, yes I know that but, as something deeper? Like how Jinyoung likes Jaebum? Like, you want to see him happy but only with yourself are what has made you content in being around him. To have him always with you.”

 

The room is coated in silence and Youngjae thinks Kunpimook has gone catatonic because he has not blinked nor moved but then Kunpimook starts to breath heavily until he’s pushing and scrambling to get out of the blankets while stuttering ‘Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!’

 

“BamBam, calm down. Calm, it’s okay!” Youngjae says petting Kunpimook’s hair to calm him which the younger freaks out even more and turns to him in a fearful panic.

 

“Youngjae! Oh my god you can’t tell him! Please, I-I can’t! How am I going to face him?”

 

“Shhh, I won’t say anything, just focus on my voice and breathe.”

 

“How am I going to cope with living around him? What if he finds out?”

 

“Bam, come on! It’s Yugyeom, unless if you tell him he won’t know. I won’t say anything, unless you want me to?”

 

“N-No, I’ve just figured this –that I, I like Yugyeom?”

 

“Will you tell him, eventually?” Youngjae stifles a chuckle and rubs Kunpimook’s back who looks like he’s just died a little inside and guesses he’ll say no.

 

“No! Why would I do such a thing and alienate Yugyeom away from me?”

 

He hums and uses his words carefully, Yugyeom would never talk to him if he outright said the youngest has been in love with Kunpimook.

 

“You never know, he might like you back.” He watches Kunpimook groan and shake his head in his hands that are free from the blanket. “I couldn’t imagine another reason why he’d stay with you this long.” Youngjae says with a chuckle before laughing loudly at Kunpimook’s offended face.

 

“At least he likes me enough to be my friend but, I can’t imagine something like that. I don’t deserve him if he does…but what if he does?!”

 

Youngjae silently sighs and tries his best to focus on Kunpimook because he’s close to his own revelation and it would be about damn time when the two get together.

 

“I’ve basically been there for him for the longest time and he’s still alive and kicking- no, I like Yugyeom I do but, he’s my friend. Can I still be his friend if we end up like JB and Jinyoung?” He falls into a lulling silence and Youngjae congratulates the progress made but Kunpimook looks worn and ready to pass out.

 

“Hey Bam, take it easy, okay. Just promise you’ll just think on it for now, and watch but don’t stalk him.”

 

“I’ve never stalked Yugyeom!” Kunpimook rages loudly.

 

“Third year in high school when you found out he had been dating Ten for two weeks and you made every excuse in the book to latch onto him or follow him, even when they went on dates and by the third week you single-handedly end their relationship.”

 

“If he couldn’t handle just me, how was he going to handle the rest of you?”

 

“Bam, the rest of us knew.”

 

“What?! I’m offended, why didn’t he tell me?”

 

“You had been going out with Minghao at that time remember? Being lovey-dovey but keeping to yourselves on Cloud BamMing as you called it.” Youngjae said haughtily, nose sticking up in the air and hands raised questioningly.

 

“I- He…had disappeared right after. Didn’t even give any closure to his own relationship ending only to say he was visiting his parents. So I figured-”

 

“Ah ah, you’re changing the subject. Yugyeom doesn’t need you all in his relationship groove but I need you to think on if this is a passing fancy or do you truly like him. I don’t want you hurting yourself and him all for the sake of slaking some lust.”

 

Kunpimook is thoughtful for a while and Youngjae thinks that’s he has run out of the steam he used to barge into Youngjae’s apartment.

 

“Yeah, okay. Fine.” He says sullenly.

 

Youngjae pats the fluff of fading red with a smile and knows things will somehow workout for the two youngest.

 

“Now, we need to plan what we’re gonna do for Yugyeom’s twenty-first birthday.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
